Blessed To See My Mess

You’ve scheduled  a playdate.  Awesome.  Time for mommies to chat.  Children to play and tire each other out for naptime.  You’re hanging up the phone and feeling really good about your Stay At Home Mommy self and scheduling this little rendezvous.

Then, you open your eyes and realize the invitation you just extended quadrupled your workload for the next 24 hours.  You go into panic cleaning mode.  My panic cleaning mode looks something like this:

  • All meals must be edible off a paper towel and require no heating.  This trend continues until house is as clean as I deem necessary.
  • Pajamas may be worn 24/7 until 20 minutes prior to play date in order to reduce laundry.
  • All schooling is put on back burner and/or independent activities that are semi-educational
  • Febreezing overload which usually results in nebulizer treatments
  • Cleaning house top to bottom and even organizing cabinets…because, you know, my girlfriends like to inspect my medicine cabinets (insert eye-roll here)

Whew.  It’s done.  I can enjoy my play date and it LOOKS like I’ve really got it all together.  I can clean, cook, homeschool, and maintain a fabulously tidy medicine cabinet with my alphabetized antihistamines!  I’m a good mom and wife.  Never mind the fact that my children have pleaded for attention and probably already destroyed 50% of my endeavor.

Although I always knew the above scenario was crazy, and my friends didn’t really judge me, I heard a message about this exact thing and it really changed my thinking.

One morning at MOPS, we had the Pastor of that church come and speak to us.  He and his wife had 4 children and had moved many times for his job.  I listened as he told of the day-to-day chaos of his home and how crazy the mess got.  They’d resolve time and time again to get it clean and keep it clean, to no avail.  I knew that emotion all too well.  It only takes one stomach bug or waking up 15 minutes late in my house to throw our clean status from tidy to tumultuous.

And then, he said….Why?  Why do we do this to ourselves?  When friends come to your home  and they are with you in the trenches of life….why can’t they see what it’s REALLY like?  My dishes are not done every second of the day.  If you show up at a moment’s notice, you will most definitely see 1.2 children naked.  I can almost guarantee there will be 1-200 goldfish and/or cheerios somewhere in your walking path.

You may have to dig 5 loads deep in my pile of laundry trying to find me via the glow of my iphone.  But you know what?  I’m glad you’re seeing this.  If I feel comfortable enough with you to see me at my most vulnerable (which for me, and my mother, and my mother’s mother is a messy home.)  I trust that you know the sheen of my floors doesn’t define my mothering or being a good wife.  And maybe seeing this mess is a blessing to you.  You know you’re not only normal, but a mother and a wife that is always striving to be better.

(Let me clarify, that despite what I said above…I still have the cleaning prior to visitor addiction and you may never see my house in this state in person. )

I hope you have enjoyed the random shots of my/our mess.  I often take photos throughout my day and send texts to my Corporate America No-Kids BFF so that she can better enjoy her 1 hour of Lean Cuisine at her desk.


  1. I can so relate to this! I swear we are long lost sisters, Liz!

    • This is my favorite blog EVER!!! Thanks for making me feel better about our house and me as a working mom! = ) I am SO glad that I am not alone!! = ) THANK YOU!! and miss you! = )

  2. I loved this post!! My kids are “older” now (ages 16, 15, and 9), and they can still make huge messes! They just make messes with different stuff now. 😉 And you are right, we do have to clean up sometimes, and we don’t want out kids to live in a total mess. (Or ourselves!) I’ve found, though, that the messes happily wait for me until I get around to cleaning them up. 🙂 I appreciate your honesty and the entertaining way that you express the fact that we homeschool moms are just “regular” moms like everyone else!

  3. Krae1023 says:

    OMG!! Thank you! I am a work from home mom with one 3 1/2 yr old boy that can distroy a house in no time!! Thank you, Thank you!!

    • Elizabeth says:

      You’re too sweet!!!!! I can’t imagine how difficult it is to work from home and still do all the wife and mother stuff!! You go girl! My boys can like sense clean and destroy! Seriously!!!! Gotta love ’em 🙂 Thanks for visiting my blog! Many blessings to you–and your mess ;)!

  4. THANK YOU! Sometimes I just like to really see others live in my world as well. 🙂 Everyone I know seems so organized and I struggle to keep up. We never really know what goes on before the playdate. 🙂

    I am trying to simplify and not worry so much, its a hard road… THANK YOU.

    • Elizabeth says:

      Thank you! I don’t know why we feel we have to fake it…? Ya know? I feel you! My world is def. messy! LOL! Blessings to you and yours!

  5. Theresa says:

    Thank you for sharing! My kids are 7, 5, 2 and 4 months. I have been feeling very overwhelmed lately. I really needed this today.

Speak Your Mind