Forget sanding, I just need a skill saw….


You know what the toughest thing is about this whole process? (What process?  What she’s talking about?  See here.) We’re working with children.  Despite my softer tone, praising, and 5 star rated Amazon books, we are still hitting rough spots on how I respond to the back-talking, greediness, selfishness, and fighting, and ….oh wow, that list could GO ON.

It’s like, I got invited to a party and no one else BYOB’d!  It’s so easy to just call it a day and stick them in front of the TV and go check Facebook.  Ya know?  Time to MYSELF.  Can I get an Amen?

Wait.  Don’t say Amen.  That was a trick.

This is one of the most heartbreaking things I’ve discovered on this journey.  Our society is SO self-centered.  I am so self-centered.  We have trained our minds to believe that we NEED a break.  A pedicure.  Those new shoes.  Mother’s Day Out.  New toys so the kids will leave us alone for 5 seconds.  Netflix so they’ll shut their mouths.  ipads so we don’t have to read to them.

It’s high time we died to SELF.  I think it’s the sheer definition of motherhood.  Right?  I make it sound like prison.  I think the point, though, is to ENJOY serving, raising, and training our children.  I mean, I want to survive this stage and enjoy the fruits of my labor when they are grown.  Who wants an obnoxious mother-son relationship?  Not me.  I must nip this in the bud.

Sure, we all ‘like’ it.  Heck, it’s my career choice.  I LOVE when we have good moments (that’s right folks, moments..not days…let’s not get too fired up).  When I’m reading out loud, and they are sitting, quietly, getting along at my feet.  And the baby is napping.  I’m SO the self-less moms in those moments.  Totally gentle.  100% Michelle Duggar.

LOL.  But, wait 5 minutes.  Mothering is like the weather in Texas, it seems.

I DO NOT enjoy the trip to Khols when I have to literally contort my face to make the most EVIL look EVERRRR so they’ll stop touching the purses and hiding under the clothes racks.  I lose all composure and meekness in these moments.  People are staring (and counting the weenies), my blood pressure is rising, I can’t find my coupon, and everyone decides they have to go to the Noro-virus ridden bathroom!

AHHHHHHHHHH.  Someone just come TAKE these kids!  LET ME SHOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It felt good to type that.  Whew.

These are the moments I must die to self in.  These are the sanding of my edges I NEED to happen.  And more than me, my kids need it.  However, these are the most difficult times to work on ourselves.  When others are watching.  When we have OUR goal, not our children’s in mind…and most important, the Lords’.

I have no solution, yet.  Besides to just keep my cool, go over the rules before we leave, and keep the errand short and the praises flowing like crazy. And PRAY MY BUTT OFF. 

My husband and I are reading Grace Based Parenting, which has basically changed my thinking on parenting.  It’s life changing.  But also sad because up until this point, I kinda sucked at this.  And it makes me pissed.  (Did she just say pissed and sucked on a homeschooling website?)  Yes.  Yes I did.

Oy.  I’m exhausted.  Forget the sanding….Just saw me in half!



  1. I have to say I literally laughed out loud half way through and was in tears at the end (but in a good way)! I so love this post. All I can say is THANK GOD I am not alone in my thoughts and struggles through motherhood! lol It’s like you scripted this from my mind. 🙂 Take this to know you are also not alone! 🙂 As Moms and Wives we are expected to be selfless and giving but some days, we need reassurance too that we are doing a good job. We don’t get that paycheck at the end of the day or a promotion that tells us we are doing a good job. Now and again we need a little something back and I don’t think that is selfish. 🙂 A “thank you for all you do” from your husband and a hug and I love you for no reason from your child. Those are the moments we need to refuel us. A few hours at Kohl’s alone would be nice too, 🙂 It’s hard work what we do and don’t put pressure on yourself to be perfect. How else do our children learn that it’s ok to make mistakes and that they don’t have to be perfect to deserve to be loved, right? 🙂 Thank you for always keeping it real!

  2. I just love you 🙂 lol ……and adding Grace Based Parenting to the ever growing list 🙂

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