Well, it only took us 6 1/2 years to realize these things about parenthood. I guess we REALIZED them long ago…but it’s only been in the last few months that we’ve ACCEPTED, EMBRACED, and come to PEACE with them. I say ‘we’ because my husband and I have really struggled on this one. It’s affected our marriage, daily life, and happiness in general. Life has been much sweeter–and our relationship with the Lord much stronger since getting on the same page with these issues. Here they are. This ain’t a fun list y’all. You might think…”huh? Well, I’m getting my tubes tied yesterday”. But, bear with us. There’s a method to this madness that is ultimately a happy, fruit full life!
1. Forget about sleep
If you’re a parent already, (and if you’re reading this blog, you probably are), just come to grips with your new sleep habits. Stop complaining about them. Stop saying…”I just need some sleep”. Stop whining about how your spouse got to sleep in later or who got up more with the baby (or the toddler who can’t stay in bed at night). Once my husband and I learned to ‘suck it up’ in the sleep department and realize that we can survive just fine on 5-7 hours of INTERRUPTED sleep for months if not years at a time, we were different people. Happy. Relaxed. More focused on our kids than on squeezing in a nap. Plus, we’ve dropped like 35 pounds each. Seriously. Be thankful for the sleep you get, and move on. When we’re old and in the nursing home playing dominoes, we’ll get TONS of drool-worthy sleep time. It’s just not the season, folks.
2. Forget the clean
Yup. I know I have 4 boys, but I have girlfriends with all girls, and the mess never ceases. Get a maid? Perhaps. I tried it and the mess just comes back before the maid does, so we’ve chosen to save our money. I’m not saying not to clean. The good Lord knows I clean (and my husband does too). Plus, our kids help. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. But, guess what? It’s still dirty. There is still dried yogurt on the pleather barstools (that’s not a typo, we don’t have real leather, it’s more like plastic leather). My carpet has gone from beige to brown and there HAS NOT been a remodel. Toothpaste streaks are the norm in the sink, y’all. Sticking to the couch? Yup. Just be thankful you got to take a break and sit down at all! LOL! Now, mind you, I ADORE, RELISH, and COVET a clean, tidy, Pinterest perfect house. I literally daydream about it. However, my husband has coached me through my panic attacks while standing in our playroom, that now is not the season of our lives to have perfection. We can do our best to teach our children how to pick up and spill less, but we still have a large family (of little boys, no less) and things just aren’t going to look like a Pottery Barn Kids magazine. Does that make ya feel better? I hope. I’m still not sold, but I have come to a certain amount of peace about this.
3. Forget about laziness
“Who is SHE calling lazy? I’m NOT lazy”. I thought that too. Until we kept piling on the kids. I cannot believe how much time we used to waste ! Wow. TV, shopping for nothing at Target, the 4 or 5 dishes just sit there…it wouldn’t have taken like 2 minutes back then! LOL. My husband and I have definitely realized that with each child we have, the less lazy we become. We are also coming closer to Christ because we’re not just sitting around anymore. We always joke that we were blessed with excellent fertility because we are SO lazy by nature. Who knows where we would be without these crazy boys! So, my advice is to sit less, run more. Walk ‘n talk, walk n’talk, people!
4. Focus on God.
Sometimes I have moments in which I look to the Heavens and say…”Ohhhhhh, now I ‘get it’, God.” The more I meditate on His Word and follow his Will for my life, everything just runs more smoothly in our home. I have not figured all the aspects out, because I am not in a habit of it yet. I do turn to God when making BIG decisions. And those decisions usually turn out to be a blessing. However, when I rush into something before turning the focus to God, it’s usually an epic failure. This blog is a good example. When I first began, I thought I could write my tail off and maybe make some money for the family. My focus was money. However, writing began to feel like a chore. Once I put the focus on the Lord and just went with the flow, my blog became such a JOY! And still is. (Oh, and I’m still not making money…..LOL)
5. Put your marriage first.
It’s odd I’m posting this now that Giuliana Rancic has come under all this fire about her comments. However, the Bible promotes a healthy marriage! I’m team Giuliana, y’all! Although, right now, I’m not sure how much we put our marriage first. We have no babysitters and there isn’t a huge date night budget, but we do make sure to show our children how much we love each other. Bed time is a pretty strict routine so that our evenings are our own. This definitely brings me peace during the daytime homeschooling/housewife craziness. Knowing I’ll have the evening with my husband helps me to prepare for the next day! One day I know we’ll do date nights, but it ain’t gonna happen anytime soon. Get the kids on a routine that works for your family and make sure to ask your husband about his day and what he’s struggling with, besides just focusing on wiping a butt or nose, mmk?