How We Found Peace….

Well, it only took us 6 1/2 years to realize these things about parenthood.  I guess we REALIZED them long ago…but it’s only been in the last few months that we’ve ACCEPTED, EMBRACED, and come to PEACE with them.  I say ‘we’ because my husband and I have really struggled on this one.  It’s affected our marriage, daily life, and happiness in general.  Life has been much sweeter–and our relationship with the Lord much stronger since getting on the same page with these issues.  Here they are.   This ain’t a fun list y’all.  You might think…”huh?  Well, I’m getting my tubes tied yesterday”.  But, bear with us.  There’s a method to this madness that is ultimately a happy, fruit full life!

parenting

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1. Forget about sleep

If you’re a parent already, (and if you’re reading this blog, you probably are), just come to grips with your new sleep habits.  Stop complaining about them.  Stop saying…”I just need some sleep”.  Stop whining about how your spouse got to sleep in later or who got up more with the baby (or the toddler who can’t stay in bed at night).  Once my husband and I learned to ‘suck it up’ in the sleep department and realize that we can survive just fine on 5-7 hours of INTERRUPTED sleep for months if not years at a time, we were different people.  Happy.  Relaxed.  More focused on our kids than on squeezing in a nap.  Plus, we’ve dropped like 35 pounds each.  Seriously.  Be thankful for the sleep you get, and move on.  When we’re old and in the nursing home playing dominoes, we’ll get TONS of drool-worthy sleep time.  It’s just not the season, folks.

2. Forget the clean

Yup.  I know I have 4 boys, but I have girlfriends with all girls, and the mess never ceases.  Get a maid?  Perhaps.  I tried it and the mess just comes back before the maid does, so we’ve chosen to save our money.  I’m not saying not to clean.  The good Lord knows I clean (and my husband does too).  Plus, our kids help.  EVERY.  SINGLE. DAY.  But, guess what?  It’s still dirty.  There is still dried yogurt on the pleather barstools (that’s not a typo, we don’t have real leather, it’s more like plastic leather).  My carpet has gone from beige to brown and there HAS NOT been a remodel.  Toothpaste streaks are the norm in the sink, y’all.  Sticking to the couch?  Yup.  Just be thankful you got to take a break and sit down at all!  LOL!  Now, mind you,  I ADORE, RELISH, and COVET a clean, tidy, Pinterest perfect house.  I literally daydream about it.  However, my husband has coached me through my panic attacks while standing in our playroom, that now is not the season of our lives to have perfection.  We can do our best to teach our children how to pick up and spill less, but we still have a large family (of little boys, no less) and things just aren’t going to look like a Pottery Barn Kids magazine.  Does that make ya feel better?  I hope.  I’m still not sold, but I have come to a certain amount of peace about this.

3.  Forget about laziness

“Who is SHE calling lazy?  I’m NOT lazy”.  I thought that too.  Until we kept piling on the kids.  I cannot believe how much time we used to waste ! Wow.  TV, shopping for nothing at Target, the 4 or 5 dishes just sit there…it wouldn’t have taken like 2 minutes back then!  LOL.  My husband and I have definitely realized that with each child we have, the less lazy we become.  We are also coming closer to Christ because we’re not just sitting around anymore.  We always joke that we were blessed with excellent fertility because we are SO lazy by nature.  Who knows where we would be without these crazy boys!  So, my advice is to sit less, run more.  Walk ‘n talk, walk n’talk, people!

4.  Focus on God.

Sometimes I have moments in which I look to the Heavens and say…”Ohhhhhh, now I ‘get it’, God.”  The more I meditate on His Word and follow his Will for my life, everything just runs more smoothly in our home.  I have not figured all the aspects out, because I am not in a habit of it yet.  I do turn to God when making BIG decisions.  And those decisions usually turn out to be a blessing.  However, when I rush into something before turning the focus to God, it’s usually an epic failure.  This blog is a good example.  When I first began, I thought I could write my tail off and maybe make some money for the family.  My focus was money.  However, writing began to feel like a chore.  Once I put the focus on the Lord and just went with the flow, my blog became such a JOY!  And still is.  (Oh, and I’m still not making money…..LOL)

5.  Put your marriage first.

It’s odd I’m posting this now that Giuliana Rancic has come under all this fire about her comments.  However, the Bible promotes a healthy marriage!  I’m team Giuliana, y’all!  Although, right now, I’m not sure how much we put our marriage first.  We have no babysitters and there isn’t a huge date night budget, but we do make sure to show our children how much we love each other.  Bed time is a pretty strict routine so that our evenings are our own.  This definitely brings me peace during the daytime homeschooling/housewife craziness.  Knowing I’ll have the evening with my husband helps me to prepare for the next day!  One day I know we’ll do date nights, but it ain’t gonna happen anytime soon.  Get the kids on a routine that works for your family and make sure to ask your husband about his day and what he’s struggling with, besides just focusing on wiping a butt or nose, mmk?

godly-parenting

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Comments

  1. Oh yes, marriage first! My hubby keeps telling the kids that “mommy was my wife first, and she will be my wife after you are gone.” Great list 🙂

  2. I love this! In all honestly – I just did the first one this morning….honey, please I’m so tired, just give me a few more minutes – I was up with her all night – can’t you just take her for a few minutes and then I’ll get up…..oh, well thank goodness for coffee!

    • I know it Erika!!! I do the same to my husband….I did it this morning too, just like you. After 4 kids, my hubby has gotten much more helpful, but it didn’t start out that way! I TOTALLY still complain, I just try to let it go as the day goes on. I used to let it overcome me to where I’d be pissy all day, ya know? That first baby is so hard!!!! I’m praying for you 🙂 You’re doing an amazing job with motherhood…and blogging!

  3. After almost 8 years,I have made piece with sleeping.I now get excited when I can let my husband sleep in,because at least one of us is getting it!I also have been mindful with time wastage.I really did slouch about a lot when we had just 1 babe.Now with 4,not so much.And like you,add Homeschooling into the mix with being a Housewife,and you have a full day.I found I was lazier when my eldest 2 were in pubic school.Now we are home mostly all day,I see what needs doing,and I do it.Thanks for this post,I’m feeling it!!!xx

    • Hey girl! Yep…I’m feeling it too! EVen whey I TRY to sit and watch TV during the day…my conscious tells me otherwise and I end up busy. But, I try to do it all with Joy….especially for my children to see! Thank you for stopping by and commenting!

  4. I LOVE this list:) My husband and I have 7 kids ranging in age from 14 years-18 months
    (one with cancer). Once I figured out that most of my “bad days” came from my attitude and not the kids behavior life became so much easier. I have to make a decision that each day will be a good day because I will make it that way!
    Sleep-never really happens
    Laziness- a thing of the past
    Clean-Ha! What is that?
    But Life- life is great!

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