When Ava Grew a Weiner

ultrasound-wrong-gender

 

After having 3 little boys and being pregnant again with a ‘surprise’, I get A LOT of comments no matter where I go or who I talk to.

“Do you know what you’re having?”

“You need a girl!”

“Whew, your hands are FULL!”

and by far, the most popular:

“Are you hoping for a girl?”

My situation when I ponder these questions is a little unique.  Here’s what happened to Ava and how God taught me a very precious lesson about motherhood.

I was 18 weeks pregnant with our second child.  We already had our little Noah who was about 20 months or so at the time all this happened.

Let me back up a bit.  My family is FULL of little boys.  My cousins and myself have boys.  That’s just what we do.  Honestly, growing up and watching my older cousins have all these boys created such a YEARNING in me to have boys and be moms like them–I never really pondered pink.

However, I think over the years, we all wondered who’d break the mold?  If any of us would have a girl.  Then, after our first son was born…the comments started (after just 1 boy):

“Now you just need a girl!”

“Maybe a girl will be next!”

So, I think a lot of us take to heart what others say and think that’s what we want and need too.

So, when we went in for our gender ultrasound at 18 weeks with our second child, you can imagine everyone’s SHOCK when we learned it was a GIRL!   Oh. My. Word.  How?  My husband and I just couldn’t believe it.

I sent emails…”It’s a GIRL!”

I sent text messages….”Noah is getting a little sister!!!!”

I announced to neighbors and friends…”Ava is on her way!!!”

I shopped.  I planned.  I talked to Noah all about having a little sister.  You know, because a 20 month old TOTALLY cares about that ;/

However, deep down, I had this nagging paranoia.  It just didn’t feel right.  However, I had shown the ultrasound ‘money shot’ to several friends who had girls and they all assured me to buy pink.

Even during the next few doctor’s appointments, my OB kept laughing at my doubt.  “Buy pink!  It’s a girl!  Believe it!”, she’d say.

Still, I needed proof.  My anxiety grew over the next few weeks as I heard SEVERAL stories about friends of friends whose gender ultrasound was wrong and their showers were total busts.

Surely, that wouldn’t happen to ME–but, better safe than sorry.  I’m getting another ultrasound.

So, at my next routine appointment, with my toddler in tow, I begged my OB to give me another ultrasound.  She was annoyed, to say the least.  On top of that, the ultrasound room was busy that day.  I ended up waiting over an HOUR for that ultrasound.  I almost said ‘never mind’ several times (as this was before iphones and ipads and waiting with a toddler was torture).

We finally got in the ultrasound room and my son poops in his diaper.  Oy.  I was already jellied up on the belly and she began with the scent of poop in the air.

Immediately she said….”See, still a girl!”.  Ok, I thought.  I need to just calm my butt down.

She then proceeded and said let me just triple check so that you won’t worry anymore.  And then….

“Oh”…she said…..”I’m not sure if that is cord or not….”

“Oh wow….I think this might be a boy…”

My doctor was stunned.  As was I.  In shock.  And, honestly, I still didn’t know for sure.  My dr. quickly left the room and I gathered myself, my poopy toddler, and my ‘maybe a wiener’ pictures that had been printed out.

I could NOT believe this was happening!  I was one of THOSE stories.

I immediately called my girlfriend and rushed to her house to analyze the ultrasound photos.  After still not being convinced I called a 4-d ultrasound location and they got me in right away (you know…because this was a life and death emergency…{EYE ROLL!!!!})

I was crying hysterically now, and even had my husband leave work to be at the ultrasound.

We arrived at the ultrasound place and within minutes there was no doubt about it…

AVA HAD GROWN A WIENER.

My husband and I just laughed.  So nuts that this had happened to US.  We were now one of those ‘couples’ that inevitably freak out all pregnant ladies who worry if their ultrasound was correct or not.

I re-sent the emails, texts, and phone calls and everyone else laughed along with us too.

Then, the next morning I woke up.  I CRIED.  Oh Lord how I cried.  Nearly all day.  I wanted that Ava.  It was almost as if a child had died.  Or the thought of that child.  I didn’t know who I was carrying anymore.  It was the weirdest feeling.  It seems silly to me as I type this now, but at the time, I was devastated that it wasn’t a girl anymore.  Luckily, my friends and husband understood and within a couple days, life moved on.  Brody was on his way, instead.

Fast forward to today.  Our little Brody is nearly 4 years old now.  I can’t believe that!

I rarely think of ‘Ava’ anymore.  It’s more of just a funny story now.  Just like I’m typing here.  However, the entire experience and the way the Lord laid it out….it’s become an amazing and precious lesson for me.

You see, God’s plan is never wrong.  It may FEEL wrong to us.  We may SCREAM…”WHY couldn’t it have just been AVA?!”  That’s what I felt while pregnant.  “Why didn’t I deserve that?”  “My whole family wants a girl….”  WHY?  God?!!!!

However, my little Brody has taught me more about the flawlessness of God’s plan and the gift of  motherly love than I could have ever imagined.

First, where would my oldest son be without BRODY?!  Oh goodness.  Bored to tears without that little brother.  Those two are sewn together at the hip.

Thank you, Lord, there was no Ava.

Also….the sound of his little voice, so sweet and polite.  How could I live without it?!  Something would be missing!!!!

Thank you, Jesus, for my unanswered prayer.

Oh Brody….what would Mommy do without your love of chores and cleaning?  You swell with pride whenever you are praised for your efforts.  And all I can think is…

Thank you, Heavenly Father, for another little boy.

So, when people ask me if we’re hoping for a girl, I guess I just already know God is going to give me so much more than what I or anyone else could imagine would be best.  Sure, maybe another boy….but so much more than that.  An amazing sibling.  A son.  One day, a husband.  An employee.  A friend.  And most important, weiner or no weiner…a Child of God.  Perfect.  Loved.  Cherished.

I am so thankful, everyday, for my little boys, and for the lesson God taught me about what we want, what we *think* we need, and the fact that he has so much BETTER in store for us.

Comments

  1. Such a great post, friend! Your boys are perfectly precious and I am so happy, too, that Ava grew a wiener!

    • Elizabeth says:

      Thank you Carlie :)))) I know God has worked some amazing weaving in your life lately too. Your faith inspires me! Thanks for stopping by sweet friend!

  2. I understand the whole 1 gender thing. I am one of 3 girls and both my sisters have 3 girls. I had 2 girls and got pregnant (by surprise) with number 3. We were all fully expecting a third girl. We were all shocked at the ultrasound when he was a HE! I guess I knew in my heart he was a boy all along, but still to see it was crazy. I was lost for a while not knowing what to do with a boy, but I couldn’t imagine life without him. I guess every baby is a blessing no matter who they turn out to be!

    • Elizabeth says:

      Exactly Ashely…No matter what’s between the legs, they are still their own individual! Thanks for stopping by and commenting!

  3. It is stories like this that made me do what I did with our first child. I wanted a girl more than anything, but given my pessimistic nature I was sure I would get a boy instead. Our little one did not cooperate so we had no idea the sex, and yes I was OVERLY anxiety ridden over the whole thing! (Which seems so totally silly now!) I did not want to be/feel any disappointment if our child was a boy as I would carry around guilt forever if I thought I might pass a vibe of disappointment on to our child. Thus I convinced myself we were having a boy, to the point where I questioned my OB when our DAUGHTER came out and even thought boy for at least a month or two when I looked at her! 🙂

    • Elizabeth says:

      LOL Heidi!!! Isn’t it weird how the gender thing can play such tricks on us!!! Glad you could relate! Thanks for stopping by and commenting!

  4. Holly Tounsand says:

    I too am happy that Ava grew a wiener. Brody is such a love and all your chilldren are blessed with the most wonderful parents. (I miss you all so much!)

    Kisses and Hugs to you all. I aalways think of you at 5PM!

    Love,
    Holly

    • Elizabeth says:

      AWWW!!! Thanks Holly!! I am so glad he has a weiner too!!!! What we do without sweet little Brody! We miss you too! Our neighbor here has a dog that looks just like Charlie and so the boys talk about you and Big Al all the time!!! Hope California is treating you well! Wish we could have a good political talk over me chopping stuff at 5pm! This election is going to be good!!!

  5. I didn’t have your experience, but I did write about having the gender blues. http://www.psychowith6.com/how-to-beat-the-baby-gender-blues/

  6. Hey!
    That’s what happended to us, too! 🙂
    My son “was” a girl at first, and like you I needed some time to adjust after the Ultrasound plus probably-a-wiener. I felt like I did not know that baby anymore. After a couple of days I pulled myself together and decided, that it was still the same child kicking my ribs. Until the end of the pregnancy I answered the gender-question with “maybe a boy”, and I kept all the nicknames genderneutral (top-of-the-list: little baby).
    It’s definitely for the best the way it is now. I mean, I really hate rooms covered in pink, Hello Kitty! and glittery unicorns. And of course I love my son to pieces and so deeply I could not have imagined. The thing is … I have always seen myself with a little girl (that is forbidden to wear pink!). So yes, somehow I hope for a daughter. But I will also take another son gladly!
    Thank you for your post!

  7. I am also thankful for my little boy! My 2nd pregnancy was supposed to be triplets, but only 1 survived the 1st trimester. All my husband wanted was girls(our 1st was a girl) so when I went for my ultrasound and found out it was a boy; I mourned that I would not have triplets, nor would I have another girl! But now 6 years later, I realize that god had it all planned out and I would never change a thing!

  8. That was a great read! With my first one, the ultra sound was VERY clear that we were having a boy. And I will pause here to back up a bit. We were married 12 years before I ever got pregnant for the first time. Shocked was the word. I wasn’t suppose to be able to have children, hormones were too messed up and a diabetic to boot. Any way, at 9 weeks we went for our first ultra sound…no heart beat. My husband was in shock still that I was even pregnant. I was crushed beyond words. We had planned on a trip to Fla for the following week, so the Dr said that he would do the DNC after our vacation. Two days before the DNC I miss carried. I will sum up that day like this: 4 AM trip in an ambulance to the closest hospital (not my Dr’s hospital), they couldn’t stop the bleeding. They stabilized me and sent me via ambulance to his hospital where an emergency DNC was performed. I say all this to say that, after all that, there was no way I was going to risk THAT happening again. Fast forward 6 months. I got pregnant while on the pill (God saying that He is in charge, not me). We were thrilled to be having a boy and he is a healthy boy at that. When he was 18 months we found out I was pregnant again. This time a blighted ovum. As the Dr said, it’s like a nest with no egg. The placenta was there and all that, but no baby. That one was just a tad easier to take, but still hard. Three months later…another baby was on the way. By this time I was 34. I would be 35 by the time the baby was born, my husband 42. We decided that this would be the last time for health reasons. So we really thought a girl would be perfect. You know, one of each. We went in at 18 weeks and…another boy. I had thought I wanted a girl so bad, that even though the picture was pretty clear (though not as clear as my first boy), I tried to convince myself that the ultrasound could be wrong. But after a few days, I settled into the idea and can not imagine having a girl. Here we almost 5 years later and the two brothers, 2 and half years apart, have a love/hate relationship. But mostly love. I’m sorry this is a long post, but I love to share the story of God’s blessings he gave us after 14 years of marriage. By the way, a little side note: Our first son was born 2 days before our 14th anniversary.

  9. Amanda Miles says:

    Awww, Liz! That was such a great and heartwarming blog post! I just love you so much girlie. You are such an amazing mother. I look up to you so very much. Your boys are so blessed to have you as their mama! BLESSED!!!

  10. Thank you for writing this. We have two girls, and our whole family is full of girls. I always get the, “are you hoping for a boy next?” question. However, at this point (my girls are 8 and 6) we are not trying for anything anymore. Would I have loved a little boy, of course! But I am honored and blessed to have two little girls to share my love with. 🙂

  11. Katie Carlson says:

    Loved this. My first child was a boy and like you our family is FILLED with boys so when my second one was on its way and we got the news to expect a boy we were good to go no shock there! However, the day I gave birth out came my sweet little… GIRL! What??!!!! The part you said about you felt as though a child had died or maybe the thought had… THANK YOU! I said the same thing not sure how else to describe it! My baby boy Ryder was going to be his brothers best friend and we would have a little soccer team and spend time outdoors. Now he was just gone? nonexistent…I cried at the “loss” of my sweet son even as I held tightly to my sweet precious baby girl. I tell you God knows what he is doing. She is the spunk and pep and joy and laughter I never knew was missing. My son healed my heart and made me mommy, my daughter has given me confidence I could never imagined as a mom! Thank you God for little surprises and amazing joy.

  12. I can relate. I always thought I’d have a Cosby-like family, lots of girls and maybe a boy. I now have 3 boys and 1 girl, and I wouldn’t change a thing.

  13. Great story! I have 2 little boys and am pregnant with my third little boy. We are telling everyone we don’t know what we are having so I can avoid those pity comments! I am very excited to be a mom of three boys! You are an inspiration!

  14. Hannah Hargis says:

    we had several ultrasounds that told us we were having a boy only at delivery did we find that we did indeed have a girl.

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