When it’s all just too much

real-homeschool-momIf you follow me on Facebook, you know it’s been a rough week.  My 3 week old got RSV and we even had a 911 call to make at one point.  So, in addition to the normal craziness that is my day, add in nose suctioning, trouble breastfeeding, steam showers, nebulizer treatments, dr.’s appointments, and sleep deprivation…and you have a Housewife whom often feels like super woman, come to her knees.

My patience with my older three is G.O.N.E.  I feel like I cannot handle their behavior.  I have like 73 books in my Amazon cart on parenting after this afternoon.

2 Corinthians 13:11

Finally, brothers, rejoice. Aim for restoration, comfort one another, agree with one another, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you.

Let’s add in errands and phone calls.  Last week we started changing our current home and auto insurance to a new company and the phone calls come at the WORST times.  Why is that?  When everyone is crying and needs me.

My husband’s work has been nuts this week too and it’s been 4:30 wake up times for him, which means he’ll wake up at least a couple of the big boys.

Now let’s talk school.  My boys are doing SO well.  I am so proud of them, but we’re kinda feeling ‘stale’ in what we’re doing.  I know 1000 solutions that I MYSELF have suggested to others:  “just take a break”, “go to a park”, “do science”, etc.  Taking a break only causes boredom and being off our schedule is ugly.  Going to a park is out as it’s chilly and my 3 month old has RSV.  Do science.  Can I just say without sounding like the WORST homeschooling mom ever that I DON’T want to do science right now?  LOL!  The mess, the fighting over who gets to pour what.  Calgon take me AWAY!

Money.  Let’s talk about it shall we?  Baby rushed to ER, new, higher deductible, house taxes went up, ceiling in baby’s room needs replacing, and all I can think about is how I want a leather ottoman for the living room for TJ MAXX.  We have an abundance.  We’ll get through it.  But today, it’s all too much.

Now, if you’re still with me, I have to say that I started blogging for the same reason I still do today.  To make you feel less alone.  Less of a failure.

2 Corinthians 13:9

For we are glad when we are weak and you are strong. Your restoration is what we pray for.

Some days it all is just too much.  I think the best thing to do is keep on going.  Try our best to model somewhat decent behavior to our kids, but we can’t give up.

I also started blogging to work on my relationship with the Lord.  I often run to my BFF or my husband before I look to God.  I still do that often.  I need to work  on that daily.

What’s hard about sharing some of these things is that despite all I’m feeling, and all I just wrote, I still want more children.  I still want to homeschool.  I still realize that being debt free is best for us.  The life we’re living isn’t a mistake (although the past few days have felt like every decision we’ve made has been one!).

This is the face of a real Christian woman.  A Housewife.  A homeschooler.  A mother.  I am overwhelmed.  I am not calm.  I complain.  I *nearly* went to Pets Mart today and bought a cage.  And we don’t have a dog y’all.  :/  Just sayin’.

Jesus still loves me.  I still love him.  He’s still here, I feel it.  He still has harder days for me still.  I’ll get through it.  You will too.  Just please know that my house is a wreck, my kids are not obedient, and I’m second guessing everything on days when it’s all too much.

I love you all, and Jesus loves you too.  I’m off to order parenting books and watch my DVR’d episode of The Duggars Do China.

2 Corinthians 12:9

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.


Comments

  1. I can not tell you how much I LOVE this!!! I mean…in everyway..in every aspect – I feel ya sister!!! — The cage idea..hahahaha!!! God ♥’s Ya!!!

    • I am SO thankful you can relate Kristy!!!!!!! I know one day I’ll look back and I WON’T believe I wanted to cage them…but right now it’ s a very real emotion! LOL! Motherhood is so rough at times. Beautiful at times…but also HARD! It’s worth it…but I love that there are people like you to remind me of that!

  2. Liz, I feel we have the same discussion every week at my mom’s Bible study. We are ALL guilty of going to a friend, parent, spouse before we fall to our knees and go to the one person we should have gone to in the first place. We all want instant gratification, a moment when all our problems are fixed instantaneously. Too bad that’s not the case. But it is nice knowing that the Lord is always with us holding our hand or carrying us along, even though it would be better to have no problems at all. He never gives us more than we can handle, and then we think, why would he even give us this much? You’re doing great! You’re good at letting us all know that we’re not alone, it is a comfort knowing that we all have different struggles that we battle. I’ll be thinking of you!

  3. I totally understand. I wrote last week about how I feel like I’m failing at this thing called motherhood. My motto right now is just keep swimming.

  4. Hang in there!! I know it’s been a miserable week, but it was just a week, a day, a moment of “God why me!!!!????” But I appreciate your realism, and the ability to keep this in perspective. You still have your children (I recently have a friend lose their 5th baby in utero), you still have a husband (I have had 2 friends suddenly become single this month), and God will see you through this ‘refining fire’. He provides for His children everything they need to survive trials.

  5. I love this post. Sorry you have had such a tough time recently, I love how you say all those things which are hard are still things you want. That’s the crux of it, isn’t it? That these things we fight for and love are hard and complicated but we still want them and its worth fighting dor. But, Sometimes, it’s just nice to vent and sometimes we *really* need to. x

  6. THANK YOU!

  7. Great post! I have had 2 babies with RSV and can totally relate. Thank you for sharing your real life, very few bloggers do that!

    • This is my second baby with it too! IT SOOO stinks! I’m sorry you’ve had to walk this road too! Thank you for appreciating my honesty! I’m always a *little* nervous to put it out there! Much love and thanks for stopping by!

  8. I sometimes feel scared to tell people especially people close to me my struggles because when I then say I want more children I just feel they will judge and I don’t want them telling me to send my boys to school, thats not going to happen anytime soon! As for having a little one with breathing problems read my post http://littleboybluetoddleschool.blogspot.co.uk/2013/02/mother-knows-best.html I still have pangs of guilt over our experience. Praying that things pick up for you, some times we need to give ourselves a break not from doing but from the expectations we have on our selves of how things should be.

  9. You sound like super mom to me so you have got this. I have one child and go crazy. I also love the Duggars, what a great episode. : )

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